This Isn't a Diary
by featherflock
Summary: life of a diamond
1. i get what i want

I suppose I shall start off with this little, er..._story_ by introducing myself. Yes, yes that seems about right. How else would you know who I am if I don't? I don't happen to be doing anything else anyway, besides spinning around in a rolling chair and struggling to decide what I will sew today. So alright, here goes:

My name is Rarity. I reside in a dainty, little boutique located in the small town known as Ponyville. I spend the majority of my hours slaving away in an attempt to create _dazzling_ new dresses. It's one of my favorite things to do, actually. I have quite the obsession with sewing and keeping up with Equestria's newest trends. You'll never catch me out and about in anything more than a few days old. Can't have Ponyville thinking I'm out of fashion, could I?

If I'm not working on my next big project, I love spending time with my best friends. We're pretty well-known around Equestria considering how many times we've saved the world. One of the first that I will bring up is Princess Twilight Sparkle. Yes, dear, _princess_. Having wings and a horn doesn't turn her into some snobbish ruler, quite the contrary. She's actually humbler than before, albeit a little jealous of the other princesses. I can't say I'd have the same attitude, unfortunately. Being a princess, a **rarity**, if you will, would most certainly go to my head, I believe. Good thing I'd have such amazing friends to keep me in check if I suddenly dived off the deep end and demanded the entire town be remade in crystals and gold.

I believe Fluttershy, another good friend of mine, would be the absolute last pony suited for the royal life. I feel like, if she was royalty, she'd be some sort of elusive forest nymph, which would enable her to care for any animal she pleased. Her obsession with animals' well-being is admirable in my opinion. Very compassionate. She's also very quiet, I can hardly hear what she's saying half the time, but I still love all her the same. I'd rather she were the adorable, soft-spoken Pegasus that she often is than being any other personality she'd adopted at the time. Like when she was, somehow, three different ponies at once when I left her to run my boutique. I'm not at all sure how she changed outfits so swiftly in the time it took her to turn a corner, or how we never saw her when did. The worst experience, to me, was when she insulted me and Pinkie Pie. But I'd rather not delve into that story, as it still upsets me if I think of it too much.

Since I've mentioned Pinkie Pie, that is who I shall introduce next. She is an annoying little thing, in a rather cute way, I will say. Very energetic, and also extremely talkative. As much as I love her, I try to avoid being alone with her too much. She'd talk my ear off in the span of a few seconds, it has happened before! Always smells of sugar, too, but I guess that's to be expected when she works in a bakery for a living. Pinkie is very…passionate…about her baking. She absolutely despises anything not properly baked, and while I, myself, don't blow my fuse about it, I can understand being so up in arms about something when you're so good at it. It's one of the rare times I've seen her get angry, actually. I thought earth ponies were supposed to be much more "chill" than that.

Moving on, Applejack is another friend, also an earth pony. Very hardworking, I've _never _seen anypony work themselves as hard as she has. She'll miss spending time with us if it means she won't get the day's work done at her family's farm, Sweet Apple Acres. Sometimes we have to basically force her to leave. Her family will tell her to take a break and that they can handle, but she still tries to refuse. You basically have to hold her at gun point to get her out of those fields and do something fun every once in a while. I told her that she works too much one day, and she didn't speak to me for the next few days. I heard her mumbling about how I work just as much and that this is how her family makes a living. I was slightly joking when I said that, but I guess I had her caught her at a bad time. I can also see the irony in telling her that, ha-ha.

Last but not least, my best friend Rainbow Dash. Such an interesting little thing. Also, very quick, in fact she's the only pony in Equestria that has performed a Sonic Rainboom. She has a quite muscular build for somepony who I've only ever seen lazing around in her spare time. Her wings are, for lack of a better word, _ripped_, as Pinkie Pie would say it. I can see why, the mare never walks anywhere, all she ever does is fly around. The most I've seen her use her hooves is having to pick something up, or if her wings are broken. Basically, only if she's forced to. I cannot imagine depending on my horn so mu-, okay maybe I can. But no so much so that I feel helpless without it.

Alright, now that that's out of the way, on to other matters! I'm not really sure what else to tell you about besides how my day has gone so far. It's quite a boring tale, actually, as I've just been sitting in my room with art block all the morning, spontaneously crying out in frustration before remembering that I had somepony occupying my bed in the next room. Wouldn't want to wake them.

I wanted to go and do something else, but this was important. I was making my friend a "hoodie" as she called it. I wasn't entirely sure how she wanted it, as the only details she gave were "surprise me". Annoying. You don't go to a restaurant and tell the waitress "surprise me", do you? Well, maybe sometimes, but that's not the point. The point is I that I need as many details as possible to know how you'd like your article of clothing in order to do my job. I was prepared to let out a loud and rather dramatic groan when my door opened just a crack.

Words came tumbling out of my mouth before I had a chance to think. I think I was just so happy to have a distraction, and also to see her." Darling, you're awake!"

The mare gazed at me, a tender look in her eyes, which I often compared to tulips. My little tulip. I loved to call her that sometimes, as cheesy as it was. They were fond of the nickname, although I found out she was embarrassed when I said it in public. Fear of me being overheard, I presume. She never told me why it upset her, and I never asked about it.

"Yeah, I had a great nap." The grogginess in her voice was definite. I wondered if she was just getting up to stretch her limbs before heading back to sleep again. Maybe this time I would her. "What are you up to in here?"

Head rolled over the back of the chair, my legs swung back and forward." Failing." Her giggle soothed my ears, and it felt like my frustrations were melting away. "Why not sit with me, darling?"

A clunk of hooves and grunt later, the mare had sat down, my lap being the seat. She smelled a bit sweaty, perhaps from all the work she had done earlier at her job. It was hard work for pegasi, but some pony had to do it, and I often threw playful teases at her about how I appreciated her taking care of Ponyville's weather.

My arms found their way around her waist, and discretely took in another whiff of her scent. I liked when she came over after work, it meant we'd be able to shower together later. That was all my favorite part of her visits, as afterwards she'd usually flop down in my bed and eventually get too lazy to go home until the next morning. I hated when she left. It left whispers of sadness and cold flowing through my ears to remind me how much I depended on her company to be truly happy.

"You haven't started on this thing yet?" Her voice interrupted my thoughts. I glanced at her, noticing a wide grin on her face, as if mocking my lack of motivation. "You haven't lost your muse, have ya?

I scoffed. I wasn't sure why; I clearly had. "Of course not! I would just like to make this this "hoodie" very special for you, dear." I noted the doubtful look in her eyes." It's true!" I could tell she still didn't believe me.

"Add some crazy colors, I want something to match my mane." She ran her wing through the messy thing. Her hair was always a disaster, but even more so after she had taken a nap. I thought it was cute. Perhaps she would let me wash it today. Unlikely, as she preferred to wash her own hair. I usually use a "girly" shampoo, as she called it, and she also didn't like that I washed and rinsed twice, plus added in conditioner. "You're doing too much," she would say, her eyes rolling to the back of her head. "It's just gonna get dirty again anyway."

The shifting of her in my lap brought me back to the present. " Anything else you need to know, babes?"

_Babes_. I loved the nickname. " I think what you've given me is enough, tulip, I'll try to do my best to _surprise you._" I winked.

A giggle rumbled in her throat, and I felt the corners of my mouth turn up. She slid down lower in my lap, turning so that her body was draped across both arms of my chair, and her head lay on my shoulder. A yawn escaped her lips and before I knew it, she was fast asleep.

Right in my lap. In my way. Bothersome, but I loved her too much to be too upset by it. I always liked when fell asleep close to me. Gave me the opportunity to notice all the little things she did in her sleep. Sometimes she would give a little snort. Other times her wings would twitch, and I would wonder if she was dreaming of flying. On rare occasions, she would moan. It would be soft and short, but definitely audible if I was paying attention. I mentioned it to her one day, and she told me what those dreams were about. I thought it was funny that she would have such inappropriate dreams about me.

"You're not weirded about it, are you?", she stammered. "I know you're kind of a prude."

My eyes were fixated on her face, which had become pink with embarrassment. I don't think I ever answered the question. I was too busy thinking of what she dreamed about during all those other times I'd heard her moan in her sleep. Was it different, or were they pretty much the same every time? Either way, the thought of it caused a wetness between my hind legs. I consider myself a unicorn that gets what she wants. So, I got what I wanted: her. At that exact moment, right in my bed that evening.

I thought it was quite the experience. She went to bed soon afterwards; I imagine because she was utterly exhausted from the night's activities. The next morning, I woke up to her on top of me. I learned that day that she was a tease and liked to prolong my release until I couldn't physically handle it anymore. It was frustrating. I learned another thing that day: I don't always get what I want.


	2. pay attention

"I bet this will be super-duper _fun_!", shouted the pink earth pony. My nose shriveled. "I bet there will be all sorts of cool stuff to do! Like dancing and games and singing and eating and…"

I started tuning her out at this point. I loved Pinkie, I truly did, but she talked so, so much. It was infuriating, as I couldn't just tell her to shut up. She'd either laugh it off or get upset, and then our friends would start asking me if I was crazy or something and didn't feel like dealing with all the drama that would come up with the situation. It was easier to just try to block her out and hope she'd shut up soon.

We were heading to some obscure little town for some volunteer work Rainbow Dash was interested in. I would have never assumed she'd be the type to volunteer at places. She told us that her parents brought it up during one of her visits and thought that it would be a nice deed to spend time on. As much as I liked charity work, I was rather irritated at this spontaneous trip. It would put me a few days behind in my work, but I could never say no to her.

"I hope you're not too bothered by this trip, Rarity." It was Rainbow Dash. Her hooves landed on the ground silently. I considered it strange, as there's often the usual 'clunk' or 'thud' when she's landing. Maybe it was the terrain. We were walking on a dirt road, after all.

"I know this came up super suddenly. Hope I'm not gonna mess up your work at the boutique or anything, ha.."

I succeeded in not rolling my eyes, but there was a hint of annoyance in my voice when I spoke." Oh, it's _no_ problem, Rainbow. Not at all."

It was clear by the subtle change in her expression that she could tell I was lying. She had learned to pick up on little tells in my voice and body language that told her how I actually felt. We spent much time together, so I can't see how she couldn't. When she next spoke again, her voice was barely above a whisper.

"I'm sorry, Rare, I'll make it up to you. I promise." She was studying my expression, trying to see how I would react. I eyed her back, looking into her pinkish orbs. Comparable to many things, but right now I could say they looked like pomegranates.

"It's quite alright, darling, you know I could never be truly be angry with you." A smile spread across my face. "Not for long, anyways."

I heard Starlight giggle at this. I mention how annoyed many things make me, but Starlight is by far my biggest pet peeve. I've caught her eavesdropping many times. The third time, I called her out on it. Long story short, she, Twilight, Trixie got upset with me. I honestly could not have cared _any_ less what Starlight, and even more so, _Trixie_, thought of me. Twilight, though, was different. I went home and cried that day after she took part in yelling in my face. She shouted about how the eavesdropping was harmless since Applejack and I had just been talking about a spa day, but I looked at it differently. If she eavesdropped on that conversation, what else had she been listening in on?

Twilight really hadn't even been that angry at first, but comments that Trixie made were riling her up.

"How rude! How could you think of Starlight like that? You two are supposed to be friends!"

I hated Trixie, and I **detested** Twilight's shitty "forgive and forget" mindset. Everypony can't be redeemed. No matter how nice and polite Trixie acted around us, the only pony she truly liked was Starlight. Everything else was just a façade so that Twilight wouldn't banish her from her castle or something and she could spend more time with Starlight.

"You are such a **bitch**, Rarity, it is NOT THAT BIG A DEAL!"

Thinking about that comment made me tear up again. It really stung when Twilight said that to me. I was already upset and feeling betrayed from her taking Starlight and, Celestia forbid, _Trixie's_ side. But that? That really took the cake. There was immediate regret in her eyes when she saw me tearing up and she tried to apologize, but I was having none of it. I went home and cried for the rest of the day, feeling like I had lost one of my best friends. My tulip was there to comfort me, wrapping me up in her fluffy wings and whispering sweet nothings into my ears in an attempt to make me feel better. I'm so lucky to have her.

The next day, Twilight came over to apologize. I could tell by her messy mane and red eyes that she hadn't reacted well to me leaving. It always confused me why she looked more upset than I was. After all, she wasn't the one having been called a bitch by her "best friend".

"I am so sorry, Rarity." Her weight shifted from hoof to hoof. "I should not have said that to you yesterday. I understand why you might have been upset about Starlight's eavesdropping, and I'm sorry I didn't consider your point of view."

I didn't accept her apology at the time, although I could tell she was sincere. I'm ashamed to say I slammed the door in her face and ignored all her pleas for me to speak to her. Even after she teleported into my boutique, and chased me to my bedroom, and beat on the door for 20 minutes. I did, eventually, forgive her after a few days. I don't think my relationship with her has ever really been the same.

"Hello, earth to Rarity!" the shrill voice pierced my ears. For a second, just a second, a scowl came across my face, and I knew that Pinkie had seen it. Her smile fell for a moment but returned in the blink of an eye.

"Yes, Pinkie, what do you want?"

Pinkie didn't speak to me. In fact, it looked like she was actively ignoring me. Unless she had suddenly spaced out, which was a common occurrence with her.

"Applejack was just wondering if you were alright?", Twilight answered. "You seemed a little out of it. You have spoken in a while."

"Yeah, we asked you questions a few times and thought you were just spacing out in the moment, "added Fluttershy," but then we started to get a little worried..."

The area around us seemed unfamiliar. Looking behind me, I couldn't even see anything recognizable from before I had begun recalling the fight with Twilight. I must have been daydreaming for a while.

My eyes wandered over to Rainbow Dash, a look of concern spread across her face. Her eyes held worry in them.

"Not to worry, my dears, just thinking about what I'll work on after this little 'vacation' of ours!". The lie slipped out before I could stop it.

"Are ya sure, sugar?", Applejack inquired. "Ya can talk to us 'bout anything, ya'll know that, right?"

Instinctively, my nose turned up just a tad, but still enough for my apple-loving friend to notice."Of course I know that, Applejack. I would tell you all anything."

_I wouldn't._

Applejack's eyes hardened. She got defensive so easily." Alright, then."

Great. She was going to be bent out of shape over that little gesture for the rest of the day. Whatever, she'd get over it.

We walked in silence for a while. I believe the others had sensed that small amount of tension between me and Applejack. Pinkie was bouncing along, not saying a word, surprisingly. Fluttershy was staring at the sparse wildlife around us: several trees around every half mile, a few wary animals here and there. We even came across a berry bush, but Twilight had never read about the bush before, and no pony, not even Pinkie Pie, was willing to take the risk and see if the berries were edible.

We began to get sluggish after several more hours of walking. Rainbow Dash's body hung low to the ground, her wings struggling to keep her up in the air. Applejack's eyes were drooping, and her hat was hanging precariously to the side of her head. Even Pinkie's usual bounce had degraded into a half-done skip along the path. I, myself, was getting light-headed with fatigue. My hooves ached with every step at this point.

A loud groan came tumbling out of my mouth, followed by a dramatic fall to the ground. I was careful to fall onto a patch of grass. It was less dirty.

"Are we _ever_ going to make it to this little town?", I bellowed. "We've been walking for ages!"

Fluttershy was the first to extend a hoof to help me up, but I rolled over with a rather petty 'hmph!'. I hoped later that I hadn't hurt her feelings.

Twilight smiled wide and let out a chuckle. "Don't worry, Rarity, we'll be there soon! We're actually almost there. We should be there in around half an hour, so don't worry your precious head!"

Her reassurance did nothing for me, if I'm totally honest. The thought of walking another step sent a tingle into my hooves. I sighed, rather dramatically if I may add. Twilight frowned at me.

"Oh, come on, Rarity, it's just a bit more walking." I merely blinked at her. "Can I do anything to convince you to get up and keep walking?"

_I'd love to sleep in my own bed with my tulip right now._"No. I demand we take a break."

I saw Fluttershy's ears shoot up into the air."B-ut, we're in the mid-middl-middle of n-n-nowhere. And in a-a wide o-pen space."

"S'okay, Fluttershy.", Applejack's voice sounded from somewhere behind me. "Ya know how Rarity is, I'm sure it wouldn't kill her to walk a few more minutes."

"Half an hour is not "a few more minutes", Applejack.", I snapped. I'd meant to sound a bit curt, but I didn't mean to come off THAT aggressive. "Maybe time passes quicker for you when you're out working in the fields, but everyone experiences things the same way as you."

Twilight interrupted the blonde mare before she could respond," Alright! Alright girls, maybe this can count as a break. It's been a few minutes, time to get up and get moving again, 'kay?"

Applejack mumbled an abrupt 'fine', which cut off the last few words in Twilight's sentence. I overheard some of my other friends' replies. An 'okay' from Rainbow, an "excited" 'okey-dokey' from Pinkie that was clearly forced. I saw Fluttershy mouth something which was barely above a whisper.

Walking that last distance was awful. My hooves felt like needles had been shoved in at every angle, and the scent of sweat wafted off of me. _I'll shower later._

_I wish I could shower with my tulip_.

We checked into a small hotel, 'Hoof and a Half Hotel' or something in the same vein. Pinkie wanted to go hopping up the stairs, which I wrote off as foolish since there was an elevator. Fluttershy went with her, paranoid of the elevator either collapsing or getting stuck on the way up the building. Applejack joined them even though she was exhausted, probably just so she wouldn't have to be so close to me in the elevator. I wondered if she could smell my sweat, or if had become desensitized to it since she reeked of it so often. The thought actually made me self-conscious. I hate smelling of anything other than my tulip or one of my many perfumes. Speaking of which, I'd have to fetch one immediately from my bag when we got to our room.

The seven of us, Spike included (I'd forgotten about the poor thing, trailing behind us with our bags in tow!), regrouped on the third floor.

A purple aura surrounded Twilight's horn, and seven red, plastic cards came to float up next her.

"These are our room cards," she explained, "Keep track of them, or else you won't be able to get into your room."

She approached the third door in the hallway, one on the left. "Fluttershy, Spike, you two will be sharing a room with me." Fluttershy smiled, half her face hidden by her lengthy mane.

Twilight then motioned to the door across from theirs. I felt my heart thudding in my chest. Why, I didn't know. I was anxious about something, I presume.

"Pinkie, you're sharing this room with Rainbow Dash." My heart plummeted. _Sigh_.

"Erm…", the alicorn mumbled, her hoof motioning towards the next door down the hall marked '306'. "Applejack…Rarity…you two-"

Applejack snatched the card from Twilight's magical grasp, a gasp escaping the purple princess's lips in shock. She blinked at her friend's abrupt gesture and watched in shock as the earth pony headed down the hallway in silence to enter our room.

Twilight told me something, an apology, I think. My heart rate slowed to a snail's pace. I took the card Twilight was holding out to me and headed towards my room, eager to escape my friends' awkward stares. I caught Rainbow Dash's gaze as I rushed past her. She looked worried.

Entering the hotel room, I was greeted by a couple of things: fresh, cool air that seemed to blow away every drop of sweat contaminating my body, a multitude of cooking appliances occupying the kitchen area and most, worrying, a single, king-sized bed in the middle of the room pressed against the wall.

Spike came tumbling in, clumsy as ever, and basically tossed our bags into the room. "Whoops! Sorry, Rarity." Admiration practically oozed from his voice. His little crush on me was cute to say the least.

"It's alright, my little Spikey-Wikey,"I purred, giving him a small pet on his smooth spikes.

He closed the door behind him as he left, leaving just me and Applejack. She was nowhere to be seen in the room, so I assumed she was in the bathroom. I set my variety of bags on the left side of the bed, nonverbally claiming the spot as mine. A single, long curtain took up the majority of one wall. Snatching it open gave my eyes quite the meager site. It was as plain as could be, nothing but a few trees taking up space in the wide-open fields surrounding us from all sides. I heard the creak of the bathroom door behind me and chose to acknowledge Applejack's presence.

"Well, Applejack, I suppose I might as well clear the air since we shall be sharing a room together for the next few days." I didn't even know what else to say. 'How are you doing?'

She didn't respond, anyway. Just grabbed her rather raggedy duffel bag and dropped it on the floor next to her side of the bed. I let out a soft groan.

"Right, well if you choose not to engage with me, then I'm fine with that, as well. Have it your way."

I faced the window again, taking in the empty view around us. Applejack was such a nuisance at times. She was so defensive and sensitive for a mare who constantly denied these accusations when they were brought up.

"Anyways, Rainbow Dash said that we wouldn't be heading to the school until tomorrow so I shall find a way to occupy myself." I wondered if Rainbow Dash was in her room or out and about.

I headed out the door, slamming it shut, and made a beeline for Pinkie and Rainbow's room. Before I could knock on the door it swung open, startling me. My chatty, pink friend was there, words already pouring out of her mouth about how cool the hotel was and what kind of snacks they had in the fridge. I noticed Rainbow Dash sitting in front of the window, head turned to look at me. Pinkie was still rambling on about something, although I wasn't listening.

I should pay attention more often.


End file.
